Breaking the silence

Christmas and mental health

 
Introduced by Linda Jones

CHRISTMAS is supposed to be a time of joy, of love, togetherness and celebration. Of course to point out it isn't for everyone may be stating the obvious but I wanted to help this anon mum speak up because her story is important. It's very easy to feel under pressure to play the part of a perfect parent more than any other time of the year. And if you are alone,  feelings of isolation can be at their worst.

 If you are feeling down this festive season, please be kind to yourself and don't think you are to blame, perhaps you are ill, why not seek some help? And if you have friends or family affected by depression, social anxiety, or any other form of illness, please be there for them and try to understand.

Thanks.

THIS year, like every other I have been invited to countless parties. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't.

This year, I haven't been to any.

Two people who invited me said I had to go because I would be the life and soul.

This scared the hell out of me.

It may not sound that serious to you but it's painful for me. Facing up to the fact I can suffer from social anxiety is a bit of a shock. Nobody would ever have thought it. 

Where do you go for support? To friends or strangers?

HOW confident are you about speaking up about mental health?
 
Chances are you’re clued up about stigma-busting campaigns, where to find helpful resources and may encourage others to share their experiences.
 
But what about you?
 
If you’re anything like me, that’s a whole different kettle of fish.
 
Sometimes I find it easier to seek the kindness of strangers than address the difficulties I find myself in with those closest to me.

Like many other people, I turn to blogs, forums or online support groups.

Breaking the silence carnival of blog posts about mental illness

WHY a carnival about mental health?

I feel very strongly about mental health issues. I have suffered from what everyone always just called "black moods" now and again all my adult life. I didn't know what this meant and would just go to bed to let these fleeting feelings pass. But you can't do that when you are a mum or well, busy at work can you?

And then I got worse. I contemplated throwing myself out of the window, of deliberately crashing my car, telling myself I wasn't worthy of my family's love and that they would be better off without me. I was terrified of how my children would be affected by my mental illness.

My upbringing was to ignore, shun, dismiss or ridicule people who are mentally ill. I was told by family, friends and the media through news reporting and entertainment that those who "succumbed" to a mental illness were either weak, dangerous or just a bit odd. These people either deserved our pity or we should be scared of them. They didn't amount to much and if they were people in positions of trust, authority or power, then well they couldn't have been very good in their job, if they ended up cracking up.

Sopranos actor stomps the stigma of mental illness

MY partner loved The Sopranos. I think I'd love it too but I've never got round to watching the set of DVDs. So forgive me, I wasn't all that familiar with actor, director and producer's Joe Pantoliano's work.

But like Glenn Close, 'Joey Pants' is a US actor using his celebrity to shine a light on mental illness.

His No kidding, Me Too! charity has gathered massive support in America, with the likes of Harrison Ford also speaking up and Robert Kennedy Jnr dubbing him a Martin Luther King of the movement.

I found this trio of videos interesting and inspirational so thought I'd include them here. Pantoliano is also the producer of Canvas, a film I'd love to see.

'I tried to kill myself while I was pregnant'

Introduced by Lyn Jenkins and Linda Jones.

WE never cease to be amazed by the power of the stories submitted for this blog.

This latest contribution, from an anonymous mum, is heartbreaking.

But still she asked us: "Do you think it's worth sharing?"

Well yes it is. There can't be many people who would read this story and fail to be moved.

Thank you for sending us your story. We are humbled that you have told it and we wish you all the love in the world. Many women who read this will think: "There for the grace of God..."

Is mental illness funny?

A THOUGHT-provoking video - do you think it makes a valid point?

A survivor shares her story of living in fear

THIS post has been reproduced with permission from the writer after being first published on Sleep is for the Weak.

THE terrible unfolding events of a gun massacre in Cumbria have made some very unsettling feelings resurface for me, and I feel the need to get something down in writing – some sort of catharsis is needed. 

It doesn’t matter if you think you know who I am, or can work out my identity at the end of this piece.  That matters little to me, because I know that my ex-husband will never read this and that makes it safe to write without fear of retribution. It also means I can talk about a part of my past that I was ashamed of, and have tried to push to the back of my mind but every so often – especially at times like this – it resurfaces.

Massive thanks for nominating us in the MADs blog awards

NOW what can we make of the title of these blog awards? MADs stands for Mums and Dads!

Thank you to anyone who nominated us in the Most Inspirational Blogger category. We really weren't expecting it. That's why we limited our "plugging" activity to mentioning Got Your Hands Full and Have a Lovely Time. As you can see to the top right hand corner of this blog.

We've highlighted various aspects of how parents can be affected by mental health problems and welcomed guest contributions from some wonderful parent bloggers. Here are some of the relevant posts:

Mummy, what's the black dog? How do you explain mental illness to children?

Paranoia and post-natal depression

A schizophrenic mother writes: "I'm just like you"

Post-natal depression in mums of twins, triplets and more

It wasn't my day to go, most of all I have hope

Paranoia and post-natal depression

THIS post was sent to us by an anonymous writer who wanted to share their experiences of feeling paranoia and the effect it had on relationships with family members. Many thanks to them for their courage in sharing their experience with us. 

Now, over to our anonymous writer:

THIS was me - a year and a half ago:

I am fat.

No, I am a fat, useless person who has no-one who I can trust. And I am a terrible mother. My children will one day stand before me and tell me that I am a useless fat mother who they hate. I know it. They are babies now, oh yeah, they don't have a choice, but one day, you mark my words, no matter what anyone says, they will hate me. No matter what HE says.  

'It wasn't my day to go...most of all I have hope'

 

Photo from Ashley Rose on Flickr.

LAST November Sian posted this account of post natal depression on her blog. She received an amazing response through comments, tweets and messages. With her permission, I'm reproducing her story here, to show others what a remarkable lady she is and why if you are in the grips of this terrible illness you don't have to think it will always be like this.

MINE is not a standard birth story but it is one that I have been trying to write for the last 15 years, unable to know where to begin.

For the people who know me now, as a wife, mother and successful businesswoman my words may be even harder to take in but after 15 years of procrastinating here is the story of my birth.
The morning of Thursday 5th May 1994 began like every other day except that was the day I was going to die.