A survivor shares her story of living in fear

THIS post has been reproduced with permission from the writer after being first published on Sleep is for the Weak.

THE terrible unfolding events of a gun massacre in Cumbria have made some very unsettling feelings resurface for me, and I feel the need to get something down in writing – some sort of catharsis is needed. 

It doesn’t matter if you think you know who I am, or can work out my identity at the end of this piece.  That matters little to me, because I know that my ex-husband will never read this and that makes it safe to write without fear of retribution. It also means I can talk about a part of my past that I was ashamed of, and have tried to push to the back of my mind but every so often – especially at times like this – it resurfaces.