Why do we hurt each other?

By Lyn Jenkins

SHARING our stories is an act of rebellion against those who would rather pretend that we and our 'problems' do not exist. It is also an act of trust. We trust that people will use our stories for good...that they will offer the same support to us that we have offered to them.

A few days ago I gathered together a group of people to share their stories with each other in a safe way, with no-one watching and no-one judging. We were there only to witness the stories and experiences that those present wanted to be heard by someone, anyone who would treat them with respect.

One person in the group spoke about their experience of a difficult relationship that had eroded their mental wellbeing until they experienced a long psychotic episode. Hearing her speak with such clarity and calm about the moment when she realised that the events, the conversations, her life for months had been created within her own mind, was inspirational and astounding.

Inspirational might seem the wrong word but, for me, it was the right one. Imagine being told that the last year of your life wasn't real. It didn't happen. Imagine trying to assimilate that knowledge and imagine the strength of mind it would take to come out of that experience and be positive about yourself and life...

The day went wonderfully with a sense of growing kinship between those of us that were there...we began to speak about how we could share these stories with others...and then the prejudice bomb exploded. 

One of the other members of the group indicated that their friends 'only' had depression and that they would 'run a mile' if they heard about someone being 'psychotic'.

My admiration for the lady who had shared her experience grew when her only response was a slow, serene smile, but I looked into her eyes and I saw the pain, I felt it, and I am putting here, on this blog, for you to witness it too.

She had placed her heart on the floor and it had been trodden on. By someone who was supposed to be on her side.

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Comments

[Heather]

Made me cry x

[Anonymous wellwisher]

Ah but what these people who tread on others' feelings when they say someone has "only" had depression and not experienced psychosis fail to take on board is that one can absolutely be as devestating as the other. What's more they can be closely connected and one can lead on from the other. I speak as someone who has had a couple of episodes of depression in their life, with a very close relative who has had psychosis. I did not know enough about psychosis, I was scared of it. because there is a shroud of secrecy and fear around it, it may be easier to speak up about depression and I can tell you with hand on heart that if my close relative had known more about mental illness she would not have got so ill as she would have felt more ready to speak up. Don't let other people's prejudices stop the wonderful work you are doing Lyn and Heather. xx

[Anonysleepless]

I'm going to comment anon Linda, not because I have anything controversial to say, but just incase I'm googled by family who I haven't yet told.

In a round about way, you know me as that mum that can't sleep.

I have suffered bouts of depression my whole life. I was clincally depressed in my 20's, suffered PND & panic attacks for a good 18 months after my 1st baby and now with my 2nd baby I have just started taking Fluoxitine to try and stop my vicious circle of sleeplessness and depression/erratic mood swings.

I have no experience of psychosis but having suffered with mental illness I know better than to judge those who have suffered, whatever the extent. There are enough people who have no experience or understanding of it already.

Breaking the silence and reversing the stigma is very important as there are so many people out there suffering who daren't speak up.

I'm glad you started this blog Linda.

xxx

[Fellow mental health sufferer]

As someone who suffers with mental health difficulties that are yet to be properly diagnosed I think I would have felt just as hurt by that persons insensitive comment. She must be such a strong lady to have reacted with a mere smile and not scream at the lady, I know I would have. Environments like that are meant to be safe to share things in and I wish we had that opportunity in my area as it would probably seriously help alot of people.

[Anonysleepless]

You see sleeplessness has made me reply to Linda and not Lyn, my apologies!

:)